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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23210512">There is a light that never goes out</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/songofproserpine/pseuds/songofproserpine'>songofproserpine</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Krist's Reylo Fix-Its [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fix-It, Happy Ending, Nobody is Dead, Not Beta Read, Rey (Star Wars) is Nobody, Stream of Consciousness, TROS sucks, Tender Sex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 09:35:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,376</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23210512</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/songofproserpine/pseuds/songofproserpine</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The Light has a name, and the Dark calls it home.</p><p>(A fic in which Ben followed Rey's hand back to life and light, and some small steps they took after.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Krist's Reylo Fix-Its [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1668721</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>TROS Reylo Fix-it Fics</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Episode ✕✕ - To die by your side</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I strongly encourage you to read the companion fic to this, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/21920539">Picking up the stitches</a>, which I wrote in an angry, defiant, slightly spicy haze post-TROS. I didn't get the idea to write this Ben-focused follow up until having a conversation with a Twitter buddy (Thank you, Hannah!!). You don't HAVE to read "stitches," of course, but it's a short fic and there's smut, so really, what's stopping you? :P</p><p>This fic is also a huge nod to The Smiths' "There is a Light That Never Goes Out." Morrissey ain't shit, but that song is great and I imagine a real world!Ben would adore The Smiths.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Even emptiness has a weight. It's like a millstone around the neck, grinding down every breath to a desert's dust.</p><p>Ben was used to heavy emptiness. Or was that Kylo Ren? Hard to tell the difference here in the Dark.</p><p>Empty. Heavy. Dark. That was him all over, wasn't it?</p><p>
  <em>That's me.</em>
</p><p>Kylo Ren.</p><p>
  <em>Ben.</em>
</p><p>But that wasn't true, was it? At least, it wasn't true anymore. Truth was like a thorn: it stayed in place until you plucked it free, but you would never forget its touch.</p><p>The truth was this: Kylo Ren died in the jagged red light of a saber, wielded in a sun-kissed, sand-scourged, and steel-strong hand. Kylo Ren sank, heavy and empty, into the roaring waves and churning foam of a sea in a fury, thrown there by the hand of the body that once suffered his weight.</p><p><em>My hand. </em>Ben's hand.</p><p>Kylo Ren fell into the torrent of the waves, leaving behind Ben Solo, healing and breathing, in the cold, steady rain.</p><p>Ben could still feel that rain here in this endless, patient Dark. He felt the rain and the hard press of the raging sea, like a hand holding a stone against a torn, gushing vein. As if he had more life to beat out of him. As if he had any life left at all. Hadn't he given it away? Hadn't Ben dragged out every last drop of him, pulled it like a child tears out roots and takes apart a droid and tears through a mind and pressed it into the one person who deserved more than what someone like him could give?</p><p>Yes, he did.</p><p>
  <em>I did.</em>
</p><p>A little more of Ben's mind cleared after this discovery. He was no longer empty, not quite, but most certainly still heavy. Not floating but suspended in that terrifying state when you're thrown off your feet and all that's left to do is fall.</p><p>Would he fall? Could he? And where would he land? What lurked beneath the Dark? Was there something even deeper than this?</p><p>Ben didn't want to think about that now, so he looked around instead.</p><p>Where was he? It was Dark here, impossibly and endlessly so. It was a Dark of many shades, some thicker than others, some reaching out from himself. Ben saw the blackness stretch and shiver around itself, creating patterns and forming knots and threads, making boundaries where there were none.</p><p>A question came to him, as questions often did. He could not help but be curious; that trait was never quite beaten out of him. <em>How are there shadows in a world with no light?</em></p><p>This thought unfurled from his mind and undid itself, unraveling again and again, dragging Ben behind with it.</p><p>Shadows in a world with no light. Take out "world" and fill that void with "mind," with "heart," with "boy." That was him.</p><p>
  <em>Me. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ben.</em>
</p><p>A place without light was a place without time--endless, aching, always. How else do you track the hours and days and weeks and months and years but with the arc of light in a sky, or the flat, red lines on a clock? Time was light and the Light was time, and a place without either was left out entirely.</p><p>Take out "place" and fill it with "boy," with "heart," with "mind." <em>That's me.</em></p><p>It occurred to Ben that he very well could be dead. The thought did not give him pause. He didn't react at all. Curiosity got a hold of him again instead.</p><p>If the Dark was death, and the Dark was endless, and there was a hidden weight in emptiness, then what was death but an eye that must bear the weight of its lid, yet never again open to see light? What was--what was...what--</p><p>Eyes. Eyes open. Eyes open, unblinking. Eyes open in a stare unseeing. A light in the eyes of <em>his </em>light that never should--but did, but did--go out. Eyes that had never been cold or cruel, but warm and wild, lit with a fire that turned Kylo Ren's shriveled, molten heart to ash in its gaze. Eyes he long studied in his memory just so he could name its every look should he never get a chance to be seen by them again.</p><p>It hurt to think of those eyes, hurt in a way Ben wasn't sure he understood how he could still feel when he felt so far removed from the rest of himself. Kylo Ren's heart may have been a shelled and walled and smothered thing, but Ben's heart was full of feeling, stubborn and vulnerable in its pursuit of life. It could not endure the thought of those eyes--her eyes (<em>Whose? Who?</em>) blank and empty and unfocused, as if the death in them were the death of Light itself.</p><p>
  <em>What light? Whose?</em>
</p><p><em>Mine.</em> But the thought was said with only a sliver of its old, calm certainty. Thoughts that are weighed down with doubts are like wounded legs: they both often stumble when trying to take their own steps. Ben's thoughts stumbled as it had when the Light first came to mind, as if it were a prism turned to stone, not to step on or skip but to trip over. A Light in his path not to guide the way, but to prevent Ben from walking further, as if to say, "don't do this."</p><p>
  <em>Don't do this.</em>
</p><p>Hadn't he heard that before? He was sure of it... almost sure...</p><p>... That's right. Because Light was time, time to rethink, time to stop, time to change, time to turn.</p><p>To turn. Turn...</p><p>A thorn of truth found its way into Ben's thoughts and twisted, unlocking a memory buried beneath.</p><p>
  <em>"You'll turn. I'll help you."</em>
</p><p>Ben heard that voice as clear as he could hear himself. He clung to it like it was his own breath, there for the taking and craving. The thorn dug in again, deeper this time, and dragged out her voice again and again and again.</p><p>
  <em>"I'll help you."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'm not giving you anything."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You're afraid..."</em>
</p><p>Afraid? Ben knew that word and knew the feeling it named. He knew it like the blood in his veins. Did he feel it now? Here? In the deep and winding Dark that could be death? Hard to say, really.</p><p>The thorn hesitated and then gave a sharp poke, filling Ben's mind with his voice.</p><p><em>No, not his voice but </em>his <em>voice. </em><em>Kylo Ren's voice. </em>A dead, heavy thing.</p><p>
  <em>"Don't be afraid; I feel it, too."</em>
</p><p>No, Ben wasn't afraid--he wasn't anything, just a space, a mind, a heart, a boy, as blank and black as the Dark cradling him. A Dark as heavy as the sea that swallowed Kylo Ren, a Dark as empty as death's endless fall, all motion with no advance, a momentum without a force--</p><p>Force... Force...</p><p>
  <em>"Why is the Force connecting us?"</em>
</p><p>Ben felt a pull in his heart like a blade slicing free, like a hook snatching some flesh for the taking after the tearing. His and her voice threaded through each other, forming a song that no music could ever match.</p><p>
  <em>"You're so lonely."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You're not alone."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Neither are you."</em>
</p><p>That sharp pull in Ben's heart took shape, changing from a feeling into a thing to feel. It turned to fingers, rough and small, attached to a hand that was dry and scarred and <em>strong.</em> The hand of the Light, <em>his </em>light, <em>her</em> hand--</p><p>Whose hand? Who?</p><p>
  <em>The girl.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What girl?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"The girl I've heard so much about."</em>
</p><p>This hand, <em>her</em> hand, cleaved through the Dark that kept Ben captive and pushed away its clutching, clawing shade. An impossible thing, that--but she had done impossible things before. She was practically known for it. That same hand once reached across the galaxy for him. Her hand, equipped with a touch that could defy the Dark between every star in her search for him, in her need to find him, feel him--him--just him--</p><p>
  <em>Me.</em>
</p><p><em>"I did want to take your hand--</em>Ben's<em> hand."</em></p><p>
  <em>"Ben, don't do this."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Ben."</em>
</p><p>He had heard his name from her lips often enough to know he wasn't imagining the tender way she gave it shape, but who <em>was </em>she? Why couldn't he name her? Ben prodded at his mind and came up wanting. This particular emptiness, it seemed, was just a phantom weight.</p><p>The thorn of truth tapped down harder, insistent. Ben knew her. He <em>knew </em>her. He knew her name--</p><p>
  <em>"Everybody thinks they know me, but they don't."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"But I do."</em>
</p><p>He did--did and didn't. Did once before, where there was Light and time, but not here, not in the Dark, not when he was a blank, black space, an empty boy in an endless fall. But Ben was never one to go down quiet, was never one hold back when there was reason to fight.</p><p>Her name ached in his lungs like a breath he yearned to take. Her name sat on his tongue like the thickest, sweetest honey, the kind that takes its time moving down your throat. It hovered on the edge of Ben's lips and shivered like a shrunken, starved thing, waiting to be let out of hiding into life, into the light--</p><p>A thorn of truth caught on another memory and twisted itself in deep. <em>"You can't hide, Rey. Not from me."</em></p><p>Ben's hand darted out, fingers flexed and hooked. An instinctive gesture meant as much to tear as it was to defend and deflect. Only now was he reaching out to feel, reaching out for her--<em>Rey...?</em>--that life--<em>Rey...--</em>his light--<em>Rey!</em></p><p>
  <em>"Don't be afraid; I feel it, too."</em>
</p><p>Ben remembered his hand, gloved and held to her furiously frightened face. He remembered his hand faltering, shaking, as he felt her march into his mind with a Force he could neither deny nor defy. He remembered his hand, upturned and extended, still shaking, offered as a refuge in the wound-red room lit with fire, stinking of blood.</p><p>Armed with the fury of his own momentum, Ben hurled himself against the choking Dark of his death, reaching, clawing, grabbing for one thing, just the one thing. He fought and he fought and he forced himself through, until he sensed a hand in the Dark, a hand that pulled and pulled and pulled with all her strength--and she had so much of it.</p><p>
  <em>"She's strong with the Force, stronger than she knows."</em>
</p><p>Ben froze as he felt something rough and warm against his fingers. <em>Rey. </em>Who else could it be? She was close now, so close--only a few shards of shadow separated them now.</p><p>"Please!" Ben heard Rey shout, as loud as if she used his own voice to scream. "Come back to me, Ben! Come back! <em>Be with me</em>!"</p><p>Ben didn't have to think. He knew exactly what he had to do, and he had the strength to do it.</p><p>Just as Rey's touch began to slip away, Ben thrust his hand forward with all his might, with all his heart and mind, until he closed his hand around hers and held on tight.</p><p> </p><p>Ben's first word on his return to life was a small, cherished thing. The one thing that mattered. "Rey."</p><p>Rey smiled at him, and there were <em>worlds </em>in that smile, all of them bright and brutally beautiful, all full of promise. Hers was a smile that would outshine every star.</p><p>"I got you," Rey declared with a shivering laugh, as if she could hardly believe it herself.</p><p>Ben pressed her hand against his face, needing to feel her, needing to know he was a thing to be felt: not empty, not heavy, but full and light and full of life and Light. Her other hand he held to his heart, so they could both feel the beat of it, a beat that matched her own.</p><p>"I know."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Episode ✕✕ - Well, the pleasure, the privilege, is mine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>*waves hand at star wars canon* just ignore stuff for my own convenience, thanks</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Don't go too far from me," Rey called out with a smile.</p><p>From anyone else, those words might give Ben pause. Hearing it from Rey made him feel warm, calm, like the first rosy touch of the morning sun.</p><p>"I'll be here," he said, running a finger along the back of her hand. "Promise."</p><p>Hers was not an unreasonable request, nor a possessive one. The bazaar in Hanna City was a tangled web of stalls, arranged with no discernible pattern or order. It was all a little overwhelming for Ben, who had spent almost half his life in the cold isolation of space, surrounded by masks and bleak, sleek metallic monochrome. By contrast, the bazaar was a bright bursting fury of life and sounds and color, made up of crowds with faces of all kinds and colors bared or wreathed in cloth and fur.</p><p>As his breath rose in thorny spikes in his throat, Ben glanced down at Rey, hoping for some comfort. Her face was composed, peaceful; nothing about the noise and the shifting crowd bothered her, and he tried to model himself after her ease.</p><p>Rey looked up at Ben and pointed her thumb over her shoulder. "I'll just be a moment. Need to pick up some supplies for the ship."</p><p>"Don't we always," Ben said with a small laugh. He wondered when the Falcon would ever be fully fixed--if it even <em>could </em>be. Rey didn't mind patching up the ship whenever it needed a helping hand, and she really was quite good at the task. She made the whole thing seem so effortless. Ben was better at taking things apart to see where the flaws were, but Rey could do the reverse: see what was broken and make it whole.</p><p>Ben watched her slip into the crowd, her back straight, neck long, stride steady with purpose. He would wait for her here, not wanting to cause any trouble when she haggled for the parts she needed in the off chance his presence he was mistaken for her thug--again. It wouldn't be the first time a shopkeeper glared bitterly at them as they entered the store hoping to strike a deal. Ben knew there was no way any of them actually recognized him, just as he knew that they took one look at him and deemed him unwanted, dangerous.</p><p>Despite that, Rey had her own reason for visiting the bazaar, and Ben was happy to accompany her. When he told Rey this, she had frowned at him and gave him a short, searching look.</p><p>"How long has it been since you went to a place just because you wanted to be there?" she asked.</p><p>Ben didn't have to think twice about his answer. "Exegol," he said.</p><p>Rey paused before she reached over to stroke his arm. "Before that," she said. <em>Before me, </em>she did not say.</p><p><em>Now </em>Ben had to think twice. He couldn't remember; he didn't think there was anything <em>to </em>remember. Ben's whole life had been a series of days following in the lead of another, going where they said, trying to match his steps perfectly to theirs, so desperate to blend in as the perfect fit. The only free decision Ben ever made in his life was when he ran from Luke's temple, and even then... Well...</p><p>"I don't know," he said eventually.</p><p>"Let's change that," Rey said with a firm, prompt nod. And just like that, the decision was made: they would stop in Chandrila for the scrap she needed and think of a place to go on holiday--the first holiday for either of them.</p><p>So here they were, in the bazaar of pop up and fold away shops, doing exactly what they wanted. True to his word, Ben kept Rey in his sight. It was an easy thing to do, considering his height. He didn't feel comfortable standing still though, so he made a slow pass down the crooked line of shops, never straying too far from Rey. None of the stalls caught his attention until he came to one packed to the brim with flowers, more than Ben had ever seen in his life.</p><p>Small holosigns attached to the stems listed the flowers' names and origins. Gazans, majus, conitum, muscaar, jonquil... They were pretty and large, some with blooms as big as he palm, and almost blindingly colorful, but only one flower held Ben's attention.</p><p>
  <em>Sabistar. Renaturalized from Jakku and successfully planted on Chandrila in 10 ADY, where it has since flourished.</em>
</p><p>Ben stepped forward and studied the flower. It was all shades of green, pale and deep, faint and dark. Green on green, rich and vibrant and <em>alive.</em></p><p>
  <em>Just like her.</em>
</p><p>Ben reached out to touch one of the sabistar's leaves. He wondered if it was as soft as it looked, or if the leaf would be as coarse as the sand it once bloomed in. The sabistar had to be a hardy, stubborn thing to live in the desert and survive so far from its natural home.</p><p>"I see it favors you," a high, creaky voice said.</p><p>Ben lowered his hand and turned to face the person who spoke.</p><p>The stall owner came up to his lowest rib, but still managed to make Ben feel like a child again. Their double set of eyes, slit like a cat's and as deep as the color of embers, peered into his face with a look of pure knowing.</p><p>"What do you mean?" he asked.</p><p>The stall owner gestured to the sabistar with one of its webbed hands. "See for yourself."</p><p>Ben's eyes shifted back to the flower--and then he drew back, surprised. One of the flower's petals was stretched out where his hand had once been, almost as if it were reaching for him, feeling for him.</p><p>"... Does it usually do that?" Ben wondered.</p><p>"Only rarely," they said. "Would you like to take it home?"</p><p>Home. Did he even have a home? Home was a crumbling ship and a scavenger girl who came from nowhere and nothing and meant more than everything to him.</p><p>
  <em>So... yes.</em>
</p><p>Ben studied the shifting green shades on the petals again and considered his answer carefully. "... How much is it?" he asked.</p><p>"For you? No charge."</p><p>Ben scowled. No one was ever that generous, especially when they needed to make a sale to live. "Why?" he demanded.</p><p>"I know your eyes," they said, a set of words that nearly stopped Ben's heart. "You have your mother's eyes."</p><p>A long, low buzz began to ring in Ben's head. <em>Don't say her name, don't say her name, please don't say it.</em></p><p>"I sent a bouquet of sabistars to her the day you were born," they continued, tactfully sliding over Leia's name. "Seems only right that you get one for yourself, Ben Organa."</p><p>"Just Ben," he corrected them. "For now, anyway." At some point he'd go back to Ben Solo, but... No matter what name he chose--Skywalker, Solo, Organa, even Kylo Ren--a burden came bundled with it, weighed down by years of shadows and deeds and whispers that followed in their wake. He thought of using Solo for a while, bearing the name of the father he killed, the father he half owed his life to, but Rey had shot down that idea with all the swiftness of a sharpshooter's aim.</p><p>"Only do it out of love, not guilt," she'd snapped without heat or ire. "The last thing your father did was show you how much he loved you. If you do take his name, then use it with honor, not shame."</p><p>"I don't have a name to honor," he'd said, his voice flat and bloodless, a limp thing that tumbled from his throat. And it was true--at least, it was the way he saw it. Organa was sacred, assigned to his mother and all her decades of steely service to the galaxy. Solo was a scoundrel's name, reviled and adored on dozens of planets and even more moons. And Skywalker--</p><p>Skywalker was Luke's. It would never, <em>could</em> never, really be Ben's. Some days he wasn't sure he even wanted it to be.</p><p>"That's not true," Rey whispered, cupping his cheek with her hand. "You have <em>your </em>name."</p><p>And so he'd been Ben, just Ben, from that day forth.</p><p>"Even so, Ben," the stall owner said, drawing Ben back to the present, "You should take it. You deserve it."</p><p>Ben didn't move. He glanced up on a whim, and saw Rey heading his way. She was but a few steps away when Ben reached out to pick up the flower pot in his hands, cradling it tenderly like the thinnest arc of spun glass.</p><p>"Thank you," he said to the stall owner.</p><p>Their smile was wide and toothless. It set his heart at ease. "You're welcome."</p><p> </p><p>To no surprise, Rey took one look at the sabistar and lit up with delight. "It's so--so <em>green</em>," she laughed, grinning. She read the holocard quickly, her bright brown eyes scanning it with interest. "And it's from <em>Jakku</em>?"</p><p>"Originally, yeah."</p><p>Rey shook her head. "I can't <em>believe</em> it. I've never heard of it before." She peered up at him, her grin thinning out to a small, sweet smile. "Good catch, Ben."</p><p>Ben studied her face with his usual loving care. Small nose, large, wide eyes, faintly freckled cheeks. It was a face he missed before he had ever seen it, a face he missed even in dreams.</p><p>Carefully, as if he were the one made of glass, Ben reached out to curl a stray strand of hair around Rey's ear. "Guess I just got lucky," he said.</p><p> </p><p>Later, when they were curled up in bed, Ben lifted his head from Rey's chest and stroked her cheek to get her attention. "Hey."</p><p>"Hmm?"</p><p>"Wanna hear something?" he asked.</p><p>"Of course," she said at once. She didn't even think about it, and he adored her for it.</p><p>Ben took a breath before speaking again. "I was born here. On Chandrila."</p><p>Rey blinked. It took a moment for the knowledge to sink in. When it did, she sat up with a start, pushing him up so that they knelt face to face on the bed.</p><p>"Why didn't you say anything?" she demanded.</p><p>"I didn't think I had to," he replied, confused. And what did that matter, anyway? He was telling her <em>now</em>. "It's not that important."</p><p>Rey shot him her "did you honestly just say that to me, and do I really have to spell out how ridiculous that is?" look. Someone else might call it incredulous or impatient, but he thought those words diminished the full effect of her bared feelings. "Of course it's important," she argued gently. "It's important to <em>you</em>."</p><p>"Not really. I barely remember what it was like here."</p><p>Rey chewed on her lip, not yet convinced. Knowing her, Ben doubted she would reach that point without a fight. "Still--it's your home. Well, it was your home. Your first one. That matters. That means something."</p><p>"I never thought of it that way before," he admitted.</p><p>"And now you can," she said. "Once I'm done fixing the ship, we'll take a look around the city and make a holiday of it."</p><p>"You don't have to do that for me."</p><p>"I'll do it because I want to," she insisted. "What about you?"</p><p>"What <em>about</em> me?"</p><p>"What do you want to do?"</p><p>Ben's answer was easy, as effortless as breathing. "Whatever you'd like."</p><p>A slow, silken smile seeped across Rey's face. Ben's heart fluttered at the sight of it. He knew she felt it; her gaze dipped to his bare chest for a moment before returning to his face.</p><p>"What are you thinking?" he asked, his voice a low rumble.</p><p>"I'm thinking..." She trailed off, her smile hitching up into a wicked, crooked grin. "I'm thinking we can do what we did the week after we left the Resistance."</p><p>Ben's lips trembled. A shudder rippled through him, thrilling every nerve from his neck to the tops of his thighs. He thought of that particular night often, captivated and curious and craving another taste of her body. It was the only time in Ben's life he had been eagerly overwhelmed, vulnerable yet safe, devoured by love. He wondered when--<em>if</em>--Rey wanted to repeat the experience, yet could not think of how to ask her.</p><p>Of course she found a way to beat him to it.</p><p>Ben said nothing. He kissed her instead, putting all his breath and heart into every press of his lips. Rey sighed into another kiss and shimmied free from the sheets, pushing herself flush against him. Ben slid a hand down her back and pulled her forward, cradling her in his lap.</p><p>They wore fewer clothes than the first time they did this, yet they took twice as long getting undressed. Each bit of newly bared skin met the caress of hand and tongue and breath, a competition Ben took the lead in and soon won.</p><p>Rey giggled when Ben warmed one of her breasts with his hand and gave the other a full, open-mouthed kiss.</p><p>"Good?" he murmured, running the pad of his thumb over her nipple.</p><p>Rey shivered and pushed her hips forward, grinding against his lap and the steadily hardening length between his strong, thick legs. Ben groaned hungrily at her warmth and squeezed the firm curve of her backside, holding her close.</p><p>"<em>Very</em> good," Rey said, breathless.</p><p>Ben smiled against her breast, warmed by his breath, slick with every flick of his tongue. He could do much better than "good."</p><p>After planting one last kiss between her breasts, Ben lifted his hand and waited for Rey to meet his gaze. Slowly, slowly, Ben slid two of his fingers between his lips and ran his tongue across the tips. He pulled them free with a soft, wet pop, not unlike a kiss itself, and reached down to the wet warmth between her legs. He slid the tip of one finger between her folds, watching as she shivered and let out a helpless moan.</p><p>Rey clawed at his shoulders, and he savored the ache of her scraping nails. "<em>Oh</em>!" she gasped, her eyes growing wide.</p><p>"Still good?" Ben asked, stroking her again.</p><p>She nodded, her breath hitching again. "Very--<em>very</em> good."</p><p>Ben added a second finger, flattening the pads of them both to run in long, steady sweeps between her legs. He crooked his fingers as he moved them up, stoking her heat and coating his fingers with it. He did this over and over, again and again, with a loving, teasing tenderness until Rey squirmed in his lap.</p><p>"<em>Ben,</em>" she whined.</p><p>"Hmm?" he purred, moving his fingers faster now.</p><p>"Touch--a little higher."</p><p>Ben reached back to pluck one of her hands from his shoulders and guided it down between them. "Show me," he said.</p><p>With her eyes shut tight, Rey moved one of Ben's fingers to the peak of her folds. She pushed down, moving their joined touch in a slow circle. "Feel that?" she asked.</p><p>He did. There was a small, delicate bit of skin that was clearly far more sensitive than the rest of her. "Yes," he whispered, continuing her circular swoops on this new spot.</p><p>Rey moaned weakly. "Keep doing that--just like that."</p><p>Ben kissed her shut eyes and smiled. "As you wish."</p><p>With every moan he drew from her lips, Ben bent his head and placed a kiss to the bare, glistening skin closest to his mouth. He breathed in deep, savoring the scent of her. The pleasure of it moved through him with haste, his cock fully hard now. He moved his fingers faster, alternating between swoops and light, teasing flicks--she liked those the most.</p><p>Rey's thighs began to tremble, her hips moving faster now, riding his fingers to match his momentum. Ben watched her with silent awe, his eyes moving from her long, bare throat, open mouth, ecstatic face tilted up. Her eyes fluttered, and he caught a glimpse of her gaze before she said, "I'm--I'm close--I'm--"</p><p>Ben knew what she meant. "Show me," he hissed, moving his fingers faster still. Rey wasn't the only one burning with desire now. He tightened his hold on her haunches as she swayed, not wanting her slip from his grasp. "Let me see it, Rey."</p><p>Rey moaned loud and long as he said her name. Ben licked her throat, tasting her sweat, feeling the rabbit-racing pace of her heart beneath his tongue. "Show me," he growled against her skin, carefully guiding her down to the bed so she could rest against the cushions and sheets.</p><p>When she was flat on her back, Rey planted her heels against the bed and arched up. Her thighs clenched around Ben's hand, and moments later, with a trembling cry and three hard stutters of her hips, she came undone.</p><p>Ben slowed his strokes, guiding her through the throes of her climax until Rey covered his hand and squeezed it. He pulled his fingers free, but before he could get too far, Rey reached out and ran her fingers along his cock, tracing the length of it.</p><p>"Your turn," she said. </p><p>Ben nodded, his dark, wavy hair clinging to his cheeks. Nice of her to take charge here too, before he could ask. He fit Rey's fingers around him, adjusting her grip and position before he showed her the speed he preferred (hard, fast, closer to the tip). Rey picked up the pace after that, sometimes sliding her thumb around the head of his cock, spreading the pearly pre-come glistening there. Ben let out a groan, wrapping her name in the sound.</p><p>Rey giggled, a sound so wicked and lovely. "Good?" she asked.</p><p>"So--so good," he whimpered, steadying his hands on the bed, holding himself over her body. He sank his fingers into the sheets and thrust into her hand, chasing after her touch and his need.</p><p>"Show me, Ben," she said, teeth clenched and voice vicious. He gasped to hear her speak like this, her words threaded with greed. She gave voice to the hunger in them both; their craving saw eye to eye, and were equal, rivaling mates.</p><p>Ben shivered, his eyes drifting shut as he sank into a heavy wave of pleasure. He was close, so close--</p><p>"Give it to me--<em>now</em>."</p><p>The instant the command left Rey's lips, Ben felt his mind go blissfully blank. He moaned--soft, tender, a cry of delight--and gave one last, hard thrust into her hand. Just as he had done for her, Rey stroked Ben through his orgasm, watching with a dark, simmering gaze as he came on her hips and stomach in long, pearly streaks.</p><p>Once he caught his breath, Ben cupped her chin between his fingers and kissed her, long and lingering and deep. Rey nudged her nose against his cheek where his scar had once been, and matched her breathing to his.</p><p>Ben lowered his head to Rey's breast and listened to her heartbeat. They lay that way for a quiet while, calm and complete.</p><p>After a few minutes, Ben said, "I think I know a place we can visit while we're here."</p><p>"Let's hear it," Rey said, stifling a yawn.</p><p>"There's an arboretum on the western edge of the city. I always wanted to see it. They collect trees from all over the galaxy--green and red and blue as far as the eye can see."</p><p>"That sounds perfect," Rey said, stroking Ben's hair. Even now, sinking slowly into sleep, she still wanted him to be at peace. "We'll go tomorrow, first thing."</p><p>"I can't wait," Ben said, smiling.</p><p>They fell silent again. Ben listened as Rey's breath grew slow and steady as she slipped into sleep. He glanced at the sabistar on the shelf by the bed, just where they left it before they got into bed. Its petals moved with the delicate flutter of a morphodis butterfly testing its wings in its first of many flights. The flower's petals bloomed open and shut, matching the beat of Rey and Ben's shared hearts.</p><p>He smiled and kissed Rey's breast. Maybe the days ahead would give him moments like this, small, tender slivers of peace.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i chose chandrila on a whim because i liked how it sounded. then i decided to look up where ben was born and, wouldn't you know it, he was born on chandrila. regardless of its current state, i figured i'd chuck the lovebirds there for a visit.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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